The only real way to get over fear of public speaking (It’s not practice or breathing)

I went from stuttering every word in front of 20 people to speaking to a crowd of over 8,000.

And it was not because of any breathing exercises or practising in front of a mirror. It just took two pieces of hard hitting advice from top speakers that changed everything. Now I’m sharing those with you, along with my experience using them in hopes it does the same magic for you that it did for me.

The biggest mistake everyone seems to make about the fear of public speaking is that it’s unnatural. People treat fear and nerves like a flaw that shouldn’t exist in the first place. What we seem to forget is that our body is designed to survive. So when we stand before a huge group of people, our body is going to activate our fight or flight response- that is a base human response and very hard to change.

Even the best of the best public speakers don’t walk on the stage like it’s a yawn and coffee talk for them. They also get jittery and get the same butterflies in their stomach. The only difference is what they choose to feel and do about it. For them, it’s not nervousness, it’s excitement that makes them jittery.

I know you’re thinking, “yeah, I know that. How do I feel that?” and let me tell you- It’s the same damn feeling. Just packaged with the right frame of mind. Adrenaline is going to pump you, shake you and make your heart race faster than an F1 car. But how you perceive and react to it is a conscious choice. If you see it as something bad, that will ruin your speech. Of course, it will panic you and make you anxious.

But if you shake along with the shakes, play some music and enjoy the rush, it turns into excitement. So instead of trying to breathe away the adrenaline in your body (which rarely works), you can use it in your favour. Get excited, jump up and down and smile when you feel jittery. Change how you think about it, how you talk about it. Let your adrenaline fuel your passion, your voice and excitement as you go the stage and pass on that high energy to everyone in the room.

Here’s what difference in mindset can look like in action:

• I’m feeling my palms sweaty and heart racing, I am so nervous I hope I don’t mess up my speech. Breathe in breathe out. It’s not working, I’m gonna look so scared on the stage.
• I’m feeling my palms sweaty and heart racing. This speech is important, of course I’m excited. I’m so pumped. I should put on some music in my earphones and get all this excitement in my energy

If it sounds fluff, then give it a try on my word. Like I said, I was also the nervous to speak, stuttering girl and now as I speak professionally in front of thousands, the butterflies are still the exact same- I have just learnt to use them in my favor and you can too.

Another reason people feel nervous before the speech is fear of forgetting the right words and the right actions that they have memorised. And the hard-hitting hitting true advice is that, if you are conscious of every word you say, how your voice sounds, how you look, how your hand moves and how every single person is looking at you, of course, you will be anxious!

You are focusing on the wrong things. If your attention is self-conscious, so will be your entire speech. So here’s what you actually do- When speaking, don’t focus on yourself and don’t focus on the audience. The only focus should be THE MESSAGE. The message is what you came to talk about, the reason you are there. And if you focus all your attention on the message you are on stage to deliver, and feel so excited and passionate about what you have to tell everyone and explain to everyone, it will not matter if you forget a few words. It will not matter if someone in the back coughs too loudly. Because no matter what happens on that stage, you are going to leave that stage with the whole room having understood the importance of what you came to say. Trust me, with focus on the message, all doubts, fears anxieties shoo away like magic and your passion and expertise shine through.

You can try to breathe and practice away your phobias all you want. But when it comes to public speaking, don’t tame your demons; keep them on a leash. Make your nerves and jitters your superpower instead of fighting and fearing it. Turn nervousness into excitement and forget your own self to focus on the message. You will still stutter, mess up words and may not sound perfect, but you will not stop, you will not be scared, and you will not be embarrassed. Because your mind is set on what you came to deliver, and you are so damn excited about sharing it that none of it matters. The crowd will feel and remember your passion too.